Adventures

My Anxious Heart

Recently, Seth and I were able to take an afternoon and try out a new bike trail together.  As we began our journey, we rode on a paved pathway that was slowly taking us more and more downhill.  While I enjoyed how easy it was to traverse down, the only thing on my mind was how much I would hate it if I had to go back up. Quite frankly, the idea of serious exercise worries me because I’m afraid I’ll look foolish in front of other people.

When we were about halfway down the descent, Seth turns to me and tells me he thinks we’re on the wrong path.  Low and behold, I have to do what I’m dreading most.  After we make it back to the top, Seth discovers that was the path we were to be on after all.

I was really hesitant to go back down this path, because I know eventually I’m going to have to come back up again.  I actually almost told Seth that we were just going to go home because my anxiety was at an all time high at this point.

After a lot of hesitancy on my part, Seth and I make the journey back down the trail. To my surprise, things start to smooth out which actually turns into a nice afternoon ride.  Eventually, we make a discovery that makes the entire trip work it.  We come across an incredible bridge that’s built over the most beautiful stream.

Soon, Seth and I make our way back to the car which involves going back up the incline. The entire time we’re riding towards the incline, the only thing on my mind was how much I was dreading it.  When we get to the top, I’m relieved to see that it wasn’t as long and hard as my mind had made it out to be.  My hatred for the incline rapidly subsided as Seth and I packed up our bikes and head for home.

When I think about this small experience, I wonder how many opportunities I’ve missed due to my anxious heart.  I question the amount of times I’ve turned down invitations, or ignored the small tugs on my heart telling me to try something new.  In the last few years of my life, I know that God has called me to do reach out to people and my fear that they would reject my invitations or help has stopped me from fulfilling these callings.  I hope that you learn something from my mistakes because I know I did.  It’s time we put our anxieties and fears away from us, because ultimately we are not called to be ordinary.  God has an extraordinary plan for us, and it starts with us trusting His voice in every moment.

Allie (2)

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9 thoughts on “My Anxious Heart”

  1. I can totally relate to this post in so many ways. I know I have missed out so much because of worrying about how stupid I might look in front of others and what they may think about it.

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    1. I agree! I think one of the best ways we can learn is admitting our past mistakes, but the first step in that is admitting we’ve done them. Or doing like I’ve done here, take a small thing and apply it much bigger!

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  2. This is so true! I too feel that I miss out on so much because of my anxiety. It’s impossible to know your true potential until you overcome your fears and take a leap of faith. Great blog!

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  3. Wow, are you me? I’ve turned down so many invitations and opportunities because I was worried about messing it up. Like you, lately I’ve realized not to worry about others so much. And also, it’s okay to mess up and look silly! Nobody is perfect.

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